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| birds |
Birds
It was dark
when the bird in my belly
came out
and tried to sing. The
snake in my head
swung up from the shadow,
nodding flower face
uncoiling, a scaleback
pendulum of mirrors
blurring
the blackberry eye like a
pocket watch
blazing till the bird
dropped
a drink of candlelight for
the wolf in your belly,
biting for blood.
It was dark
when the owl in my
barnscape came out
and tried to fly. She was
tied to a string,
cutting black on her bright
yellow leg
and could only swing
vertigo
back and forth, up and
down,
in and out
of focus, a toy of light
and shadow.
The snake in my head asked
to be fed,
curled in the moon pool
where light lost its way,
a reticulated rebus unrhymed
hissing the meta fizz
while the wolf
in your lab coat
unwrinkled the dazzle where
iceglamour hid, turned in
his paw
the prism that blinds,
and with one ivory bite
sliced the black string
And the birds
the birds were gone-
colored light.
~February 2013
© Black Wildflowers blog 2013
All rights reserved.
19 comments:
Talk about your beasts within! (and birds). I love how these creatures all emerge from within the speaker and the unnamed other, and furthermore, they reside in/fly out of specific parts of those people.
Bird and wolf would seem to represent appetite, and the snake, a certain coiling, uneasy thought or thoughts. In fact, the snake is the only one unaccounted for at the end, as I read it. Stay tuned, I'd say. I loved that the birds flew free at the end, and the way you described that, the writing as brief and graceful as their flight itself.
oh heck...intense images in this...great work on the contrast of shadow and light...the fight between powerful elements...wow...really powerful intensity here
Yikes. A terribly sad poem, it seems to me, and I may be wrong, so forgive me - but it feels so much like flights of fancy cut short, tied down, maybe by medication. One feels as if the bird, the snake, are one's own shadows - the speaker's shadows, selves - the fanciful one that tries to sing (but only in the dark) and the super ego snake that's there ready to analyze and cut everything down.
And then there's the barnscape owl who is a bit like "real" reality, who can't quite get off the ramparts, and presents more of a dizziness/blur than anything solid or wise or knowing -- still something good is trying to go on! And even feeding the candlelight to the wolf is a bit like the bird trying to light its way, perhaps confess a bit, "show willing" -- but honestly when the wolf in the labcoat clamps down on it all I feel a bit like a bystander of Anne Sexton. Just makes me want to weep.
I'm sorry if I'm getting it all wrong, and hope I don't sway other readers who see this comment. I've had a certain exposure to mental illness (not really myself thankfully) and so I can't help seeing some of these things when labcoats come into the picture.
Very lovely imagery --especially of the snake's face and eye I thought, and oh that swinging owl.
Thanks much for participating in the prompt. k.
ps- prism can also be a sort of mirror to self awareness, but to me the refraction of all speaks to something that is not particularly self-awareness but a snapping of all these different flapping selves. k.
wow...great imagery in this...and grit..the owl with the cord cutting into its leg jarred me a bit...the snake and bird in the opening...they play well off each other..that third stanza though just rocks...great response to the prompt....
pps - Anne Sexton comment just meant to be about the tying down of the spirit. I realize any mention of her can be taken in odd ways.
Such vivid imagery here. What a creative response. It saddened me at the end though when even all the birds were gone!
Great poetics... love the alliteration, vivid images and metaphors.
Incredible write..I could feel the pain of being cut off from the light, blurred, the drink of candlelight cried out for, the turning of the paw...oh my...the owl and snake..I'd like to know more? ;)
..this is what i saw as well
...a lot of scenes play here...each has differences in images portrayed but boils down to a single finale... sad coloured light of a reddening sky... well spunned... smiles..
This is amazing in its darkness and depth. Meaning aside, there are so many fresh phrases and thoughts. The whole piece is beautiful but a phrase that jumped out for me was the snake in my head asked to be fed curled in the moon pool and that part about the reticulated rebus. Wow wow and wow. I love this. Thanks for sharing
Surreal vivid writing
Nightmares and beasts within can't get any worse than this. Scary and brings the Raven into my mind. Very strong.
i really like this part ->
a reticulated rebus unrhymed
hissing the meta fizz while the wolf
in your lab coat
unwrinkled the dazzle
hades gate
wow. powerful. to me the owl is freed by the wolf. birds being gone might be a release =).
At the moment, I think blackwildeflowers is my favorite poet and this is my favorite poem.
I watched The Raven last night, so I think that's directing me to feel that this is very much a Poe-like voice, which I immediately identify with.
There is always a bird in my belly trying to escape and a snake in my head trying to eat her before she gets the chance to sing.
"It was dark" may describe a mood or shroud of depression rather than just the darkness of night or hiding.
A nodding flower face is a woman who tries to be agreeable, beautiful, delicate ... but within, there is a hidden snake who uncoils from time to time, ready to strike or at least to reveal a more sinister side, contrasting the pretty flower---just a sweet face.
I love your detailed description of the snake's back, the scales as small, shiny metal mirrors (elements of time) in quick motion, as a rattler---the shaking making the identity and vision of oneself impossible to steady and study. ... (to be continued)
... One thing that seems to be overlooked by other readers is the fact that the bird is in your belly, but the wolf is in someone else's belly. And the bird is trying to feed/nourish the wolf. The belly is the source of passion and fire, sexuality and craving, hunger more ravenous and deeper than the need for food. The wolf is biting for blood, and the bird is hovering above, dripping candlewax on his face. He's snarling, desperate to devour your inmost places. The nodding snake has stopped nodding; your head, your intellect is trying to think things through. Your gut is telling you to fly/risk being eaten. And then, then comes the owl. The owl is wisdom. But the snake in your head---your intellect---is a little bit twisted. It seems to have stopped working along with the owl to protect you and help you make smart choices. Instead, it has ensnared your wisdom, dangling it from a tree making it/you look like a fool. Your brain is as hungry as your stomach/gut/soul. ...
This is fantastic: "a reticulated rebus unrhymed" So to me, this is a net made of symbolic pictures, or the symbols are spreading through veins. Leaf veins, perhaps. Or human veins pumping blood from the heart to the thirsty wolf---the man in the lab coat. Likely, his clothing is a metaphor for the fact that he is something like a doctor or scientist when he looks at you, as if examining your cells.
I love the contrast between his "outfit" (a lab coat) and yours: "unwrinkled the dazzle where" (dazzle-wear). You sparkle on the outside and hide your "iceglamour" buried inside, yet here is your soul sitting in his paw. How did that happen? You are the prism that blinds---your innermost self. And just when you think he is going to devour, he actually bites the string releasing you into your own color, setting you free from your own head to fly.
Certainly the "doctor" could be a therapist or a lover. Perhaps even a medication. Numerous interpretations are possible.
~jasmine
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